Dear Family and Friends:
Roy lost his battle with lung cancer Saturday 11/11/2006 at 545 am. His death was very peaceful. He was on Bi-pap and he hated it but we had to do that to keep him alive till his girls got there. He did hang on and we were able to take him back off and use the nasal/rebreather O2. He was able to visit with them but he started to become distressed again and we put him back on the Bi-pap. We sedated him to let him rest but I just felt so bad about him fighting that mask..he really hated it. Once everyone had left and it was just the 2 of us I talked to him about taking the Bi-pap off but I wanted to wait till the night shift RT because she knew how to do the switching so he would not have distress. So we sedated him and let him rest but called the family back in at 3 AM. The RT took him off the Bi-pap and placed the O2 on. He was still sedated but was able to answer questions, smiled and he drank some coffee brought from home, through a syringe. Soon after this he looked at his 4 children while holding my hand and smiled and gestured he wanted his watch on. He took a little nap opened his eyes and pulled his O2 off. I said No Honey that is your O2, you can't take that off or you won't be able to breathe, I was putting it back on his face and he immediately pulled it off again and said "No".
I told him I wouldn't put it back on him again and he slowly passed from our lives as if he went to sleep.
We were all there with him, holding his hand and touching him. We held each other and him and prayed the Lord's prayer. I couldn't have asked for a better ending to his life story. My prince is gone but I have an angel in heaven.
Thanks for all of your prayers, and Ruth, what you told me: God heals us in one of two ways. He takes the disease from us or takes us from the disease. Either way we win. Well that is just the most healing thing anyone has ever told me and just makes sense. I love thinking about it this way and will from now on.
Roy did not want any type of viewing so we are not going to have a service. We are going to let the grand kids release balloons on Thanksgiving day that will have cards from them to help with their healing.
And on May 5th, his birthday, we are going to have a celebration of his life at his new mountain home. We are building him a garden over looking the mountain view and any of his friends or family can plant a flower, shrub, or tree into his garden. He expressed to me his sadness of not getting to plant a garden and Tim told him: "Dad, you will have your own garden. I will plant you the best garden in the world." He has designed this garden in the shape of a heart. We are going to hang little angels in there too and give them the names of the many angels we met along this journey that helped him to pass onto his next adventure. Also he wanted to donate his organs but we didn't think he would be able to because of the cancer but on the way home they called my cell phone and said the Doctor checked his eyes and they were perfect and asked if we would consider donating them. We did that and it give me great hope that some day I might see those beautiful blue eyes out there in the world once again and what a lucky person they would be to look through the eyes of Roy Lawrence ...such a wonderful man.
I love you all! Thanks!
Alice M. Lawrence

~ Ali ~ My awards~ Friendly Lane~ Nurses~ Credits~ Tim~ Links~

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